I’ve been to many networking events where one person will arrive with a stack of business cards and go from person to person in the room handing them out. Their goal is to pass out promotional information. Inevitably, most of their materials will get thrown out. Why? Because they didn’t bother to “network” with the other participants.
So what is networking?
“Networking is the act of meeting other people and discussing business ideas and opportunities. Networking can be developed within a few minutes or over the long term as two people get to know each other better.”
Note: networking doesn’t just happen, it is developed. In the example at the top of the page, the person handing out business cards to every warm body in the room is not networking. The person hasn’t taken the time to “discuss business ideas and opportunities.”
The time taken to discuss business ideas, creates rapport with another person. It is about connecting with the person on some level greater than as a total stranger. Rapport may come from a shared event, a shared idea or even a shared glance. Each day we pass people in the street, in the grocery store and at work. We are strangers to each other until there comes a moment when we share a common experience. It is that moment which can create rapport and the beginnings of networking.
Rapport means to “be in sync” or “on the same wavelength” with the person you are talking to. It is a very important characteristic of subconscious communication. In other words, it is not only your verbal words which establish a connection with another person, but your visual cues: your dress, the way you carry yourself and your gestures. This is known as your body language and can create rapport with another person.
Envision this scenario: You decide to attend a Chamber of Commerce networking event. You have a small business with a great product. You would love to sell more to raise money to do more advertising, knowing that if word got out, your business would explode.
You enter the Chamber event and begin to walk around the room, stopping to pick up some snacks to eat. While at the snack table, a man approaches and makes a comment about how good the food looks. Your eyes are on the food and you don’t look up, but you verbally agree and continue the small talk. As you straighten from loading up your plate, you ask him what he does and for the first time you really look at him.
The man has raggedy clothes, mismatched shoes, long hair and hasn’t shaved for several days. His teeth are yellow. At this point, no matter what the man says, your mind has formed an opinion of this man by his visual image. He may even offer you $20,000 to get your advertising campaign kicked off. But in your mind, whatever he says no longer holds credibility. You politely listen for a second before moving on to the next person. The next person is cleanly dressed, shaven and has a bright sparkling smile. No matter what this person says, you will accept his statements as having more validity than the first man.
So what just happened? You did not establish rapport with the first man, but you did with the second man. For the second man, you accepted both his verbal language and his visual cues. For the first man, you did not.
Is this fair? No, of course not. But from childhood, we are trained to make rapid assessments of other people in order to achieve our goals whether for business or for pleasure. This happens for getting a job or for getting a date. This is why it is so important to always present yourself in the best possible way to everyone you meet.